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Candice’s Tour Diary Europe August 2016: Pt.7

Aug 14th/15/16th :
The shows on this tour have been beyond amazing. It’s crazy to think how far we have come, and what we have accomplished without much help from booking agents or labels. We still have a long way to go, but I am so grateful that I get to do things that some people only dream of. It always comes at a price though. You will sacrifice relationships, birthdays, celebrations with loved ones, holidays, at times your sanity, your finances, you will question why the hell you are so crazy and why can’t you just be satisfied being like everyone else and live a “normal life” with a “normal job”, and sometimes you also sacrifice your health….but it’s an adventure and it’s the kind of thing you look back on when you are too old to move and think…. ya I got to do some cool stuff.

We had the next 3 days off. In my head I hate days off because I always want to feel like we are being productive, but in this case I have never needed that time off to recuperate physically in the way I needed to on this tour. I’ll admit, physically this tour was a true challenge for me. We have done much more intense tours with way less breaks, but I was still recovering from major surgery and it felt like my body was falling apart. I debated writing about all this, but I wanted to also be somewhat honest about it. It started with my back getting super messed up for a good week, and after that other issues I won’t even speak of. It took me 3 days but I finally got a doctors appointment. I spent all of Sunday, Monday and Tuesday taking it easy and trying to get better. We were playing Wed in Tränas and had to leave by noon to make the 4-5 hr drive up. The doctor appt i finally was able to get (and it took A LOT of begging and pleading to get an appt) was at 11am. I told the guys that since Stephanie was driving as well that if my appointment ran later than noon that they should go up in the van without me and we would meet up with them as soon as I got out of the doctor’s office.
I went in to my appointment, but what started as one problem I went in for, suddenly turned very serious because the doctor realized I was bleeding quite a bit internally from scar tissue from surgery inside my body. She looked at me and said “you need to go to the hospital”. Around that time Jenny, Martin’s girlfriend met me in the lobby of the clinic. By this time I was in tears. I knew I had to miss the show that night now since as we all know hospitals take forever. I was worried about what was going on with my body, I was in a foreign land and I had no idea what would happen once I got to the hospital and what they would find. All I know is that I just wanted to feel ok so I could play shows, and that I hadn’t traveled all this way to be physically incapable of playing. Above all else I was frustrated and disappointed. Jenny helped me get back to Martins which was only a couple blocks away. I explained the situation to the guys and they decided to cancel the show that night so that they could be there for me. I felt bad and really didn’t want them to, but they wanted to make sure they were there to support me. We are a family after all. I felt bad and guilty, but also touched that they had my back.

Stephanie and Jenny drove me to the hospital and the guys stayed at house. They asked me if I wanted them to come along but I thought it would just be too many people and I didn’t want to make a big thing out of it. I went to the hospital and the dr saw me quickly. She said there was quite a bit of bleeding in my body but she was able to stop it pretty quickly. I also had to be prescribed antibiotics. After thorough examinations and the bleeding had stopped, she sent me on my way. I was pretty weak after all this, so I spent the rest of the day just resting and got some dinner with Stephanie and then vegging out in front of the TV.

Aug 17:
Today we had to resume shows. Tonight was Örebro (about a 5 hour drive) and next night was Stockholm which was another 2-3 hours from there. I woke up that morning, and I could not move. I was so depleted from the previous day that just walking up the stairs took enormous effort. But I would have kept on and played the shows anyway. It was the guys who all took one look at me and said no way. I guess I looked pretty bad and they were afraid they a 5-6 hr drive would ruin me. This wasn’t like having a cold or a flu that you can manage to power through. This was a lot different. All the guys including our tour manger Martin asked me to stay back and sit the next 2 shows out so I could recover and play the festival show on Saturday. I was super bummed but of course I knew they were right. I wasn’t good to anyone in this state and I needed to make sure I was ok for the festival show on the 20th. The guys went on without me and I spent the rest of the day sleeping, since I couldn’t do much more anyway.

Our friend Domino from Finland had planned to surprise the guys by showing up at the Örebro, Sweden show. He had told me a few weeks back and I had helped him plan it. I wish I could have been there to see the look on their faces when they saw him. He also went to the Stockholm show, which the guys said was pretty epic, even though they were bummed I wasn’t there. The main guy who runs Sweden Rock Festival had come
to the show to us play and hang out. I guess he told the guys he really loves our band. Who knows maybe we will get to play there again next year. Either way, that was quite flattering. I also heard that Elvis spent $110 on 5 shots of Maker’s Mark hahahhh.

By the second day of rest I was starting to feel like a human being again. Thinking back I don’t think I would have been able to handle all the traveling the guys did over the last couple days. I just focused on getting better so I could play the festival.

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